Never in a million years did I think I would have a baby. I was convinced that my maternal instincts were genetically suppressed and my ability to care for a tiny child would be mediocre at best. I never really had the urge to hold friends’ babies and just the thought of having to keep one entertained for more then 10 minutes brought sweat to my upper lip. Whenever strangers, friends, or even family asked “when are you going to have a baby?” I’d answer, “never, babies aren’t for me” and to my luck my dear husband S felt the same way and we were so connected and content to adventure through our lives just the two of us.
Obviously as my many photos show, we now have a baby! Well she’s 19 months old and perhaps not considered a baby anymore, but she will forever be ours. My how life has changed. If you are a mom, you know how complicated this statement is to explain but nothing holds more truth. There isn’t one single thing in life that doesn’t change even if just slightly, and for me I found the change hard to adjust to and the need to rediscover myself a journey that I’m still trying to navigate.
Let’s be honest, not all changes are good. I don’t recognize the bigger figure that stares me down in the mirror, I can’t remember what it feels like to be fully rested and I’ve swapped my designer handbags for a diaper bag half full of guilt, and yet I’m writing this with a smile across my face.
But as hard as it is to believe for those that may not have kids (yet) it is one of the most fulfilling elements in my life. I feel blessed that S and I are parents and we are responsible for the happiness of this wonderful little person. Being a mom has given me a new perspective on life and things that once mattered seem insignificant in comparison. What can I say, I’ve drank the “Mom Cool-Aid” and my life will be forever changed and I am so grateful that it has.
Oh and one last change… I never thought I’d be a mom, let alone a “dress my baby like me” kind of mom, but here we are #twinning it up in red plaid. Gosh this little one makes me so happy.
Thanks for reading,